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Monday, February 3, 2014

Threesomes with T. Lee Alexis & a FREE Amazon Book Download (Feb 4 and 5th)...

What I’ve learned from threesomes


By T. Lee Alexis

I have always been a wild girl.
Whenever I was out with friends, at a bachelorette party or… anywhere really, and the subject of men and sex and thrills came up, more often than not (okay, always) I would find myself saying, “Yeah, I’ve done that,” more than anyone else.
Yes, there was a time when I wondered what kind of person that made me (we’ve all called ourselves sluts in our heads after all) but today I’m at peace with who I am.
But so what? I’m here to talk about what all that crazy experimenting, mistake making and toe-curling lust has taught me: My favorite number is three.
We’ve all had those dark, taboo daydreams of pulling two men at once into bed at once:
- Luxuriating on satin sheets, laying across the chest of a strong man, planting teasing kisses on his lips, feeling his mouth pull your nipple in to lick and suck just so while behind you, you feel a whole other man, strong and ready and giving slide inside and fill you with that kind of snugness that is its own revelation.
- Reclining against the back of a sofa while your two loving men sit on either side, each one sucking wetly on your nipples, taking the pleasure and sweetness usually given by one mouth and one nipple and amplifying it until it overwhelms.
- Or the lurid kick of power which comes with a magnificent cock in each of your hands, two sets of eyes on you, waiting to see who you’ll take first, marveling at your control, your naughty beauty and your unrivalled skills.
Then there’s the female variation of three. It’s the flip side of enjoying all that male attention, with one man and one woman and you. The images this flavor of threesome evokes are their own kind of wonderland, the contrast of soft and hard, male and female sex crashing over you at the same time:
- Tangling yourself with another woman while your man watches with love and the kind of lust that seeps from his pours.
- Eyes shut, your man under you, licking and kissing and sucking you just right, while right in front of you she looks at you through hooded eyes as she rides the cock you know so well into a screaming fit.
- Or the most white-hot memory (for me) is of going down on a woman we’ve invited to our bed. Behind me, my husband slides in and takes me. His rough thrusts filling me, pleasing me, rippling through my body, through my tongue, to the clit of our bedmate, all joined in one moment of perfectly shared pleasure it’s hard to express just right.
Yes, these are the vivid, enflamed fantasies we all tease ourselves with. But almost always we demure, we defer and when the opportunities arise, we beg off. After all, don’t threesomes destroy relationships? Sure, they can. Arguing about going to the grocery store can destroy a relationship if it’s weak enough.
But if you are secure with your partner, or find you and two friends all falling for each other (it happens more than you’d think today) they can give real, helpful and fantastic enhancements to your relationship. In fact, the more threesomes I’ve had, the more convinced I am they just might be the perfect form of relationships between men and women.
My husband and I have had a few threesomes (apart before marriage and many while together). While one-shot flings have their own kind of fun (or regret, as is the risk with all lustful adventures) our best experience has been dating a woman together for the last three years.
Here’s what I’ve learned in my experience:
- Searching for threesomes bring partners closer - This one shocked me the most. When my husband and I first decided to find a woman to share in a naughty romp, I was surprised that the act of mutually trying to seduce another actually brought us closer. It reminded us of the fun of flirting, dating, perusing, seducing. As much as I love marriage, there are some aspects of dating I really miss. Dating a woman with my husband wraps all the fun of dating and a stable marriage into one delicious ball.
- Threesomes always provide an audience - This one might seem weird, but it’s actually kind of nice. We’ve all experienced our most horrid fights behind closed doors, alone with the ones we care about most. There’s something about knowing no one can see us which allows us to fling the most hurtful things, knowing the only person hearing it is the person you (regretfully) want to hurt right now. But having someone there, sharing the same sensual excitement, or flirting warmth, acts as a breaker on our worst tendencies. The highs are still there, but the worst of the lows are avoided.
- Threesomes don’t double your pleasure, they expand it exponentially - This one I still cannot explain. Before my first threesome, I assumed having two lovers at once would be double the fun. But that wasn’t the case. Having two men (as with my first threesome) did not double the pleasure. It somehow expanded it tenfold. Two mouths on me made the pleasure of each expand and intensify. Pleasing one while the other pleases you somehow cycles up the overall sexual energy until the needle hits the red line. Think of your hottest sexual experience, then think of throwing gasoline on that fire.
- Threesomes give you variety you can’t get any other way - Be it a woman and two men, a man and two women, or a woman shared between a couple, having the variety and sharp contrast between different lovers right there side by side is simply one of the beautiful things in life. Feeling the difference between two men, how they kiss, lick, grab, how they rock themselves into you, is a special kind of carnal delight. Or if you’re between a man and a woman, feeling his strength and hardness at the same time you’re wrapped in her soft curves and sweet smells is a delight so delicious and lush I’m sure I’ll be searching for years for just the right words to express it.
- Threesomes allow you to see your partner in a new way - This one happens mostly outside of the bedroom. Watching your partner as they try to woo and seduce, flirt and entice and feeling them watch you do the same with your shared lover, lends a perspective on your relationship, to your long-term partner, which you simply cannot get any other way. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself falling all over again for your partner as you watch him or her chase another. It sounds insane I know, but like a lot of things in threesomes, it’s hard to imagine until you’re in the middle. Then, it’s nearly natural.
I’ll admit right here this is not everyone’s experience. It works for my husband and I because we’re both interested in wider sexual horizons yet still want the tight bond, the unconditional love two people can give each other in a committed, long-term relationship. And there’s another fringe benefit for us: The sex we have after, when it’s just the two of us again expressing our excitement and happiness of what’s just happened, alone with each other again, is probably the flat out hottest sex we’ve had. It’s almost like we’re reclaiming each other just for ourselves again.
Now, all of that being said, a successful threesome requires honoring a few things:
- Communication. Every time I’ve seen a threesome cause problems, it’s because someone involved just can’t bring themselves to talk about what they’re truly feeling or thinking. This is where jealousy lurks and destroys. If you can’t bring yourself to share your partner with someone else, but up front and open. When you are, you’ll both realize moving forward will snap the relationship and stop. The alternative is holding your tongue until your man is inside another girl and to have the jealousy rip your heart in half right there.
- They’re not a cure for the broken relationship. It’s become a cliché because it happens. A couple is having trouble and thinks they can spice things up with a threesome. But it turns out the troubles have more to do with ingrown dysfunction of the relationship (jealousy, poor communication, different goals, insecurity). Pulling another lover into that mess will exacerbate all those problems. The first thing you need for a fun, enjoyable threesome is a good relationship as a twosome.
- No surprises. There’s nothing so loving as receiving an unexpected gift from your love, but surprising him or her with a threesome just isn’t a good idea. Of course, if you’ve talked about it and agreed that it’s something you’re both interested in, that’s one thing. But flat-out springing group sex on your partner isn’t the kind of surprise you want. You both need to be prepared for the experience, so give your partner this respect.
- They’re not for everyone. While I’ve found my life expanded greatly by having two lovers in bed (and out) at once, like anything in sex, they’re not for everyone. Be secure in your choices and make them mindfully. Most non-rock star humans in history have lived rich, fulfilling lives without them. If they’re not your thing, don’t let anyone pressure you.
The key is to know what you want, know what you’re comfortable with, and talk to your partner and whoever else is involved. With just a bit of luck (not nearly as much as you’d assume) a threesome can be a real thing for you.
And if you write erotica, the fuel they provide is priceless.

On the shameless plug side, I’ve poured a thing or three about how these experiences have changed my relationships. The first story in my based-on-true-stories Ravenwood Circle series, MARRIAGE COUNSELING FROM A STRIPPER POLE, deals with some of these questions of desire, relationships mired in the ruts of life and the way shaking up the number of people in a relationship can renew the bonds already there.
Today and tomorrow (February 4 and 5) MARRIAGE COUNSELING FROM A STRIPPER POLE can be had for free in the Amazon store by following this link:

Here’s an excerpt:

Peter dropped his head just enough to press his lips to her forehead.
“Mmmm, what are you doing?” Eva asked.
“Making up for last night’s mistake,” he whispered.
“Who says the job still needs doing?”
Peter drew back, smiling and self satisfied. “Did the mail man get lucky?”
“That’s hilarious,” Eva said without laughing. “Maybe I don’t need you now. Maybe I took care of it myself.”
She watched his reaction. Eva was being pouty the way she sometimes was when trying to draw him to her. It could also be the kind of pouty she felt when a fight was coming.
“Well, at least I was here in spirit,” Peter said.
Eva’s eyed him directly and she let her inner bitch out.
“Who says you were here at all?”
Eva raised her eyebrow just so. Her husband could sense the edge in her voice. But he had known her for over a decade, and knew the difference between flirting defiance and real danger.
“Oh, is that right?” Peter drew his head back, but closed her in his arms with a playful strength. His face drew past hers, his nose edging the hair by her ear as he poured his voice into her. “Who do I have to thank for my satisfied wife?”
Before she could answer, his head dipped more and his lips pressed the side of her neck. Despite her anger, despite her need to give him a few more sniping jabs, Eva could not resist how well he knew her body.
Peter’s lips trailed down her neck, opening at the joint of her throat and shoulder, biting lightly. Eva let out a little groan, but she wasn’t done with him yet.
“I like bartenders,” she said. That drew a sharper bite for a moment.

Buy links for T. Lee Alexis’ RAVENWOOD CIRCLE stories:

MARRIAGE COUNSELING FROM A STRIPPER POLE: THE RAVENWOOD CIRCLE STORY 1

MARRIED COUPLE SEEKS GIRLFRIEND: THE RAVENWOOD CIRCLE STORY 2 (based on meeting our girlfriend)

















DEVIL ON HER SHOULDER: THE RAVENWOOD
CIRCLE STORY 3 (based loosely on a fond MMF memory)



Under another name, T. Lee Alexis is a journalist who covers the rich, powerful and talented in New York, Washington and Hollywood. With the pen-name T. Lee Alexis, she’s able to reveal the erotic secrets of these dramatic cities in… lightly fictionalized forms. She can be found on Twitter @TLeeAlexis or RedCoverStories.com

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